"Losing Spring is a very intense selfportrait depicting me as an aging woman, facing time.
As a former internist, I am very familiar with aging, losing vitality, declining health and frailty.
Finding myself going there however is something completely different.
This painting is about loss, grief, unbelief and the search for grace. The sweet spring colors balance the emotional turmoil inside.

For this watercolor painting I used mineral paper, a waterproof surface. Thus the paint can not be absorbed, stays on the surface of the paper, dries by evaporation and settles in very light veils of color. A difficult proces. Perfect for a complex self portrait.
The underpainting was done with grays and a mix of green and red. I washed it out in the sink, literally like washing my face. On the ghost painting that was left I sculptured the features in many many layers, caressing the paper. At the end I poured multiple light washes over the left part of the painting and, once settled, added the spring flowers and a hint of bars. I wonder how many people see the bars.

Transparent watercolor, the most difficult medium and the only medium with the element time in it, is perfect for me. A painting on mineral paper, mounted on a panel and spray varnished, allows me to frame my work without glass, essential for the emotional intensity I want to achieve.
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