This self portrait explores how notions of identity and self are challenged by trauma, and what role memory and time play in the aftermath. It is a study of fragility-- physical, mental, emotional, of what is destroyed and what, if anything, can be recovered. It also speaks to the solitary nature of such a recovery: its uncertainty, its shame, its suspension of time and space, the feelings of unreality around it all. It is about the struggle to not disappear, to not lose yourself to this violent act, although it wraps itself around your understanding, an albatross web chronically threatening to pull your whole existence into a black hole. It is about mourning the loss of something beautiful, fragile, ineffable. In short, it is about wrestling with the realization that I will never feel safe again the way earlier versions of myself once did.