After is a self portrait I painted during lockdown an honest look at myself, and a chance to express some of the frustration i had building up inside. During this period of my life I did not have a studio , i was mummy caring for my young son and baby daughter.My creativity was rising and I struggled not having the time energy or space to engage with my painting practice.I had to abandon my oils as After was painted in my bedroom shared with my baby. I painted it in stolen moments Sleep deprived and surrounded by laundry. This painting was my first experience using open acrylics. After was drawing a line in the sand for me, after the challenges i had faced in my life, after depression, after breakdown, after chronic pain, after pregnancy, after births after years of breast feeding. I see myself in my portrait a little unhinged, tested,warn by all that life and mother hood demands, but still there is a defiance, something more than my experience, a survivor present.